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A Long Longing All Along   
11:25pm 13/03/2017
  He pushes his head slowly
along
In an old wheelbarrow for
A long
Way and stumbles carelessly
along
He carries his poor feeties
A long
Mile over his left shoulder
along
Winding roads and harbours with
A long
Longing he's borne forever
along
His pain-filled journey with
A long
Sadness he's carried with
A long
Sadness he's carried all
Along
 
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Would You Like A Vase?   
02:06am 13/01/2017
  Hello and welcome and etcetera, ad nauseam and all the rest. Look I'm just going to cut right to it because, I had this whole speech thing I spent days, countless hours with it just staring at this blank white screen with this ... blinking cursor on my computer and then I just sort of wrote some stuff and it was, well it was all useless filler ultimately is what it was so no - I'm not going with that. I've decided to speak from the heart.

...

Did you get that? It went *kathunkkathunkkathunkkathunk* .. and I can't tell you what that means because I don't really speak heart but I'm sure it means "Thank you all for coming to my show this evening, ladies and gentlemen. It fills me with great joy to look out and see so many wonderful faces who have come out in support of me as I embark upon what was originally supposed to be a children's show until nobody thought I was cut out for children's entertainment and practically everybody politely suggested in some way or another ... that maybe, just maybe I might scare the children. And I thought "Well fuck me, that isn't very polite". So I asked them "Why, what's so scary about me?" and they would all say "Well you know, your face is a bit gaunt isn't it .. a bit Mary Kate and Ashley" or "Hey, here's fifty bucks go and get yourself some new clothes and a bath"...

...

I had no idea my heart was such a shit conversationalist, I'm sorry about that. Probably should have stuck with the prepared monologue. It wasn't so .. revealing. It had its flaws but it had poignancy and poise, backbone and gristle. It could have had legs. It could have been borne on wings and soared out over your heads, through the windows and onto the streets, captivating the masses and inspiring them to great deeds. But it was a bit long-winded, at least for a modern crowd you know, attention spans the size of a walnut. So. I guess that's on you, really, isn't it?
 
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Punching Spiders   
11:43pm 04/01/2017
  Spider drops
Fist drops
Goo drops
All around
 
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